Coming Out as an Atheist

"So are you still able to go to church there?" My bestfriend from the Philippines has asked me a few days ago. We were just catching up in Viber and out of the blue, the million dollar question came out. 

I hesitated, torn between telling her the truth or coughing up with a white lie. I went for the former. 

I told her straight out that I haven't been to the church for a very long time and that I have been agnostic. Take note that I used the term 'agnostic' and not atheist just to soften the blow. In a way the demarcation line separating agnosticism and atheism is quite thin. I still believe in something though, just not on a theist being. 

As expected, she was shocked. We were both Sienans. We practically grew up in the same Catholic school. We recited the same prayers, sang praises, attended the novenas, aced our Religion classes and read the gospels. It was a nostalgic part of our childhood life together. 

She never made further comment when I told her my reason for losing my Catholic beliefs. I just simply don't see the value of  religion to my way of life. I had a former colleague who actually told me that had he known that I am an atheist from the start, he might not have befriended me. That was heartbreaking to hear to be honest.

I remember a dear friend who confessed to me that he's an atheist when I was in my early 20s. I was also shocked and I couldn't fathom why. I was still hung up on my Catholic faith at that time and he was the first atheist I know. I never knew atheism could possibly exist in a Catholic-dominated country. It has been a matter of years after that, when atheism has been such a subject of curiosity to me that I began to realize that I believe more in what atheism is all about than any religion does. 

In a way, I could understand my friends' reactions. When you live in a world surrounded by such prevailing religious presence your entire life, how can you even understand such people who don't belong to a religion? But that does not mean you have to judge them because of their lack of belief? Does that make them any less human because they're different and do not worship a theist being like God? 

I have nothing against people who practice their religion but I hope they respect those who don't because it's our choice. We're not like sheep who lost our way in the herd as what most religious people would think. I do agree that religion can provide a sense of belongingness to a community but I don't need that. I would rather join a club or a cause where I can engage with people with whom I have common interests and help out the community rather than go to church regularly only to become absent-minded throughout the course of the mass.

Beliefs don't define a person but action does. When I am asked what do I believe in if I don't believe in God, then I would most likely say I believe more in reason and in the goodness of mankind.