Love or Obsession?
The female species is such a confusing gender to deal with especially when it comes to matters of the heart. For one thing, we females say something that is a complete opposite of what is truly in our minds. We say "Yes" but what we truly mean is "No." Our hearts and minds just can't seem to stop contradicting each other! It's women's nature to be fickle-minded as they say but can our hearts remain so steadfast for one man that we hold on to him with a vise-like grip despite all the unfavorable circumstances?
It may be true for some married women to bear the burden for the sake of saving her marriage and her family. A lot is at stake and personal happiness usually comes second in priority. But can the same be said for single women? Is there a thin border between true unconditional love and loving someone so blindly to the point of obsession that you no longer value self-respect?
I have a friend who can't seem to be over a guy no matter what earth-shattering event happens. They have undergone the worst emotional rollercoaster ride that you can possibly imagine but still my friend just can't simply give him up! She's completely hooked. This friend of mine has reasoned out that she truly loved him. But is this reason sufficient enough for the longstanding heartbreak that she endured with the guy?
Just to give you a bit of a background of what happened, my friend and this guy have been "fuck buddies" for over 4 years. As expected my friend developed certain feelings for the guy but the guy at that time was committed to someone else! She tried to get over him but considering their domestic situation where they're living under the same roof, the plan proved to be a futile exercise. So it came to a teary confrontation where she tried to make the guy choose but the guy--"asshole" as he was, said the magic word that he chose her just for the sake of pacifying her rising hysteria at that time. He then claimed to have later broken up with his girlfriend but still won't commit to my friend. Now my friend is confused with their bizarre relationship. It's just so obvious that the guy is just leading her on just to keep getting laid!
I couldn't imagine the weight of emotional baggage that has cost my friend so many sleepless nights to the edge of driving her nearly insane. It's true that we always lose a piece of ourselves in every heartbreak but that shouldn't stop us from moving on, getting on with our lives and finding another love. It shouldn't destroy our spirit but most of all, our sense of self-preservation. The most essential thing to remember is that we still remember our self-worth.
I keep reminding my friend that despite what happened, no matter how ruined she felt over the guy, that she should always love herself first. This she seemed to have acknowledged with full understanding. And yet, my words fell on unheeded ears because she still went on with seeing the guy even though she no longer trust him. She's open to meeting other men but she just doesn't have the mettle to jilt her boytoy. She admitted that she's afraid to embrace singledom and to think she's only in her mid-twenties! Albeit it's too early for her to be thinking of spinsterhood, there's just no stopping her from their "open-relationship" setup. The scary thought of being "unattached" is what's keeping her from dismissing the guy. The guy has her completely wrapped around his little unyielding fingers. And how could love withstand without trust?
I feel sorry for my friend for wasting her youth and for not loving herself more. But sometimes some people are just beyond help. How can you help a confused individual who is too adamant to help herself at all?
It may be true for some married women to bear the burden for the sake of saving her marriage and her family. A lot is at stake and personal happiness usually comes second in priority. But can the same be said for single women? Is there a thin border between true unconditional love and loving someone so blindly to the point of obsession that you no longer value self-respect?
I have a friend who can't seem to be over a guy no matter what earth-shattering event happens. They have undergone the worst emotional rollercoaster ride that you can possibly imagine but still my friend just can't simply give him up! She's completely hooked. This friend of mine has reasoned out that she truly loved him. But is this reason sufficient enough for the longstanding heartbreak that she endured with the guy?
Just to give you a bit of a background of what happened, my friend and this guy have been "fuck buddies" for over 4 years. As expected my friend developed certain feelings for the guy but the guy at that time was committed to someone else! She tried to get over him but considering their domestic situation where they're living under the same roof, the plan proved to be a futile exercise. So it came to a teary confrontation where she tried to make the guy choose but the guy--"asshole" as he was, said the magic word that he chose her just for the sake of pacifying her rising hysteria at that time. He then claimed to have later broken up with his girlfriend but still won't commit to my friend. Now my friend is confused with their bizarre relationship. It's just so obvious that the guy is just leading her on just to keep getting laid!
I couldn't imagine the weight of emotional baggage that has cost my friend so many sleepless nights to the edge of driving her nearly insane. It's true that we always lose a piece of ourselves in every heartbreak but that shouldn't stop us from moving on, getting on with our lives and finding another love. It shouldn't destroy our spirit but most of all, our sense of self-preservation. The most essential thing to remember is that we still remember our self-worth.
I keep reminding my friend that despite what happened, no matter how ruined she felt over the guy, that she should always love herself first. This she seemed to have acknowledged with full understanding. And yet, my words fell on unheeded ears because she still went on with seeing the guy even though she no longer trust him. She's open to meeting other men but she just doesn't have the mettle to jilt her boytoy. She admitted that she's afraid to embrace singledom and to think she's only in her mid-twenties! Albeit it's too early for her to be thinking of spinsterhood, there's just no stopping her from their "open-relationship" setup. The scary thought of being "unattached" is what's keeping her from dismissing the guy. The guy has her completely wrapped around his little unyielding fingers. And how could love withstand without trust?
I feel sorry for my friend for wasting her youth and for not loving herself more. But sometimes some people are just beyond help. How can you help a confused individual who is too adamant to help herself at all?
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