Wedding Bell Blues
"Marriage is overrated" is a line I remember from one of my favorite movies 'Definitely, Maybe'. To some extent I agree but not to the significance that marriage stands for but rather to the traditions surrounding weddings in particular. In the Philippines, weddings cost a fortune and you really have to brace yourself to get broke at some point (if you're a typical working citizen). Since a wedding has to be a solemn and special occasion, it has to be conducted in the church with a complete entourage and footage of videos and cameras. Not to mention, providing a reception that could feed the entire Napoleon army! Filipino weddings are meant for show to families, friends and relatives--practically everybody. Should weddings always be like this? And if you deviate from the norm, people would think you're too poor or maybe crazy not to afford one! Can't a wedding be not so expensive and grandiose but still manage to be unique in a way that it still captures that special bond between the partners involved?
Marriage serves as a social status. In our society, it's either you belong to the married faction or on the wrong side of the tracks called singledom. And if you're a single woman in her thirties, brace yourself for a lot of criticisms, exclamations and flabbergast expressions. Most often people will think 'Oh this woman can't find a man!' or if you're attached 'Well, what the hell are you waiting for? Divine Intervention?' To most women, they consider marriage as a form of security. It's a way of evincing stability from their man and obtaining a certain stature. Marriage hasn't really evolved from the ancient times. The only difference is that, we don't necessarily arrange marriages anymore (except for some countries like India).
It's just frustrating that women have to undergo this kind of pressure because our biological time-clocks are ticking and if it's up, what then? Should the very essence of our existence on earth should stop as well? Seeing my friends marry off one by one only added fuel to the fire. From my college friends, I'm the only one left still unmarried and from my high school friends, I'm actually one of the 2 remaining girls who hasn't settled down yet.
I feel the pressure now and it seems like I'm running in a rat race. But I know I shouldn't give in to pressure, otherwise I won't feel the magic that marriage still provides. As long as I'm with the person I love, I am happy and that should be enough for now. I'm in no hurry to start a family. Gosh, I can't even see myself as a mom! Don't hold it against me if I'm still selfish and hesitant of parental responsibilities at this age.
Having being asked for the umpteenth time on when Mike and I will tie the knot because we've been together for 6 years, it's actually kind of exasperating already. Why should people care in the first place? Will they even come to my wedding? I find that the best answer to that will be, "Well, it's fucking none of your business!"
As I say, I'll go marching down the aisle when it's my turn to do so.
Marriage serves as a social status. In our society, it's either you belong to the married faction or on the wrong side of the tracks called singledom. And if you're a single woman in her thirties, brace yourself for a lot of criticisms, exclamations and flabbergast expressions. Most often people will think 'Oh this woman can't find a man!' or if you're attached 'Well, what the hell are you waiting for? Divine Intervention?' To most women, they consider marriage as a form of security. It's a way of evincing stability from their man and obtaining a certain stature. Marriage hasn't really evolved from the ancient times. The only difference is that, we don't necessarily arrange marriages anymore (except for some countries like India).
It's just frustrating that women have to undergo this kind of pressure because our biological time-clocks are ticking and if it's up, what then? Should the very essence of our existence on earth should stop as well? Seeing my friends marry off one by one only added fuel to the fire. From my college friends, I'm the only one left still unmarried and from my high school friends, I'm actually one of the 2 remaining girls who hasn't settled down yet.
I feel the pressure now and it seems like I'm running in a rat race. But I know I shouldn't give in to pressure, otherwise I won't feel the magic that marriage still provides. As long as I'm with the person I love, I am happy and that should be enough for now. I'm in no hurry to start a family. Gosh, I can't even see myself as a mom! Don't hold it against me if I'm still selfish and hesitant of parental responsibilities at this age.
Having being asked for the umpteenth time on when Mike and I will tie the knot because we've been together for 6 years, it's actually kind of exasperating already. Why should people care in the first place? Will they even come to my wedding? I find that the best answer to that will be, "Well, it's fucking none of your business!"
As I say, I'll go marching down the aisle when it's my turn to do so.
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